I think as a mom, we try to be perfect.  Or at least we try to do it all.  We try to feed our kids all their fruits and vegetables at every meal; we try to keep them social and active by having play dates; we try to keep them from falling; keep them from crying; try to make sure they get plenty of attention from us, while also trying to give them the skills to play independently from us; we try to keep them from anything bad, damaging, or harmful.  We try to do all of these things all while trying to keep the house looking presentable, keep ourselves looking presentable, and giving the needed attention to not only our child(ren) but also our friends, ourselves, and our husbands.

The keyword in all of this?  Try.

We try to keep it all together and do everything we feel we are supposed to, but honestly (and I hope we can all agree on this) it doesn’t always happen.  At least not all in the same day.  I try to give Donovan enough fruits and veggies, but he can be a picky eater sometimes.  I’m ashamed to say, he might have one vegetable one day–or none–But then the next he will devour four cheese and spinach pasta sauce (with extra spinach I’ve added, to make up for the lost veggie days) and all will feel right in the world.

Lately, my mommy guilt is related to how much tv our child watches.  When I was pregnant, Grant and I would talk about what our baby would be like, the kind of person they would grow up to be, and what we would/wouldn’t let him/her do.  One of those things: our kid wasn’t going to watch tv until they were 4 or 5. And even then, they would only be allowed to watch the old-school “good” cartoons we had growing up (you know, Duck Tales, Chip n’ Dale’s Rescue Rangers) and sports.  I found Nick Jr to be a decent tv channel, and once I was searching for shows out of curiosity and came across Olivia and Little Bill.  Turns out Olivia has won Donovan’s heart.  We let him watch it once to see if it would be something we could put on for special occasions….

That’s been the beginning of the end….

He loves it so much that he completely zones out and gets sucked in like I’ve never seen.  Noticing this, I thought  ’oh, I’ll let him watch one episode and I can cook dinner real quick without him hanging on me! I’m brilliant!’  After one episode ends, he asks for more. Well, one more is ok.  I’ll be able to unload the dishwasher without him trying to climb in, remove all the knives and go running through the house.

A good thing I’ve noticed about Olivia?  Donovan will tell me (in his own language) what is happening on the show.  He sees the mom picking up the baby and singing and Donovan will point to the tv and say, “Mama. Baby. Uppie. Mama. Sing.”  Maybe this is keeping me from completely getting rid of Olivia?

It’s the weekend.  I need a shower.  Grant’s at work.  Donovan has been all kinds of crazy.  ”Wana watch Olivia?”  I’ve got him trained so that when he watches Olivia, he only sits on the blanket.  This keeps him from getting into things he shouldn’t when I’m in the shower.  When he’s around me, he’s never been particularly good at playing by himself.  Of course, I would love to be able to just sit him down with some play-doh or markers so he could do some artistic/mind-healthy activity while I’m showering or cooking, but he is constantly (still) putting those things into his mouth (!!!!).  So that’s a no-go.

And I feel guilty about letting him watch tv in the first place.  But after working all day, picking him up from daycare, we play for a little bit, but then I gotta get dinner together or squeeze in a quick run on the treadmill. And most nights, Grant is working until after 6 or even traveling, so I’m handling the end of the day stuff solo.  I honestly don’t know how else to do it now.

I’m trying to do it all, but realistically, I can’t.  I know I can’t.  So our new little helper Olivia is giving me a hand.  Good or bad, I’m letting my almost 2 yr old watch tv.

And even though I can’t always catch him when he falls, I am always there to make sure he is ok and can give him plenty of kisses to make it all better.  I think in the end that matters more than whether or not he ate his spinach, I got the laundry put away, or how much television he has watched in one day.  And I might always feel guilty about letting him watch tv so young, but it works for us right now.

Bragging side note: He loves watching sports and can tell the difference between soccer, football, basketball, hockey and baseball when they come on tv or he sees them in real life.  All of these sports have been part of his vocabulary for some time.  This not only makes his mommy happy, but especially daddy!  Oh, and he can do push ups…. for real…. not feeling guilty about that!

I chose a lion costume for him since we went to see his first movie, The Lion King in September. He happily sat through the whole thing (to my surprise!), so in honor of Simba, Mufasa, Nala, even Timone and Pumba, he was a lion. And yes, this picture was taken as he zipped by me with a mouth full of chocolate…

Speaking of chocolate, remember his costume from last year?

Ok, just making sure….

This year his class got in the Halloween spirit and had a field trip to the pumpkin patch!

“Mama! Heavvvvvyyy!”

I just had to chaperon since I missed out on his field trip to apple picking this year. The pumpkin patch included a hayride, picking out a pumpkin, apple cider and cider donuts.  It was a short, but fun little trip.

He loved the tractor!

Cider donut. Nom nom nom nom!

Donovan was excited to see the animals, but kept (enthusiastically) making the sound of a horse when he came to the goats–he’d never seen one in real life, and you don’t see many goats in children’s books.  Donovan, a goat doesn’t say “neigh!” it says….uh….it kinda sounds like a sheep!

Come Halloween….

Roaaaaaarrr! We ventured to about 6 houses in our neighborhood. We got to the first house, and even after teaching him how to say “trick or treat” he got shy and only said “thank you” after being able to pick out his piece of candy, which he held in his hand and refused to put in his bag.  The next house, the same thing. At this point, his hands were each holding a piece of candy. We ended up prying the candy out of his hands so he could gather more.

After it got dark, more kids came out and Donovan was checking out their costumes and not wanting to go inside–even though it was pretty cold.  After a couple more houses, we went home and ate dinner while simultaneously handing out candy. THIS was Donovan’s favorite part of the night. He kept asking us, “trick treat?” And we’d have to explain that he’d have to wait for the doorbell to ring.  And when it did, he eagerly went to the door with me and would drop candy in each kid’s bag.  At one point, even saying “more?”  I’d have to tell him that one was enough (I know, sorry trick or treaters).  One kid, he must’ve been no older than 6, after given his candy said, “that’s a cute kid you got there!”  So adorable.

All in all, it was a good Halloween.  Donovan got his costume in time.  He didn’t hate it.  We successfully trick or treated.  Donovan went to bed with a tummy full of candy.  Halloween. Can’t beat it.

Pajama day at school–

Playing in the rain–

Attended our first birthday party (Simone turned 3!)–

Enjoying the Christmas decor at Costco–

Coloring–

Having snacks before bed–

Helping his dad at work–

Playing on the slide after an overnight rain shower–

Enjoying a new toy (this thing keeps him busy for a nice, long while!)–

Seriously, Donovan loves his new hoop so much, he threw a fit when he had to leave it to go to school the next morning.

So we’ve been keeping ourselves busy, and enjoying the fall.  Next up, Halloween! Donovan’s costume came in the mail and he tried it on. But when he did, he kept pulling on it, saying, “Help?” meaning: help me get this off.  Oy. Once the whole thing was on him, I kept encouraging him, telling him he looked so cute, and even walked him over to our full length mirror so he could see himself. He still wanted to take it off. Let’s hope come Monday, he’ll manage to keep it on….

Oh, Donovan!

This happened to be the day they were playing with shaving cream…..

A couple weeks ago they had parent/teacher conferences–I know, it might seem ridiculous to have a meeting with his teachers, but it’s nice to hear how he is doing socially with the other kids (the biting has stopped), how he’s developing right on track with his language and motor skills (his vocabulary is increasing like crazy), and we found out that he LOVES doing art projects. I was both happy and sad to hear this. Sad because why didn’t I already know this?!  The pangs of mommy guilt set in quick–I didn’t know this already because I’m at work all day and he is spending his days at daycare.  Sure, on weekends, we color but half the time he seemed more interested in putting the pens, crayons, etc in his mouth… But I was happy to hear that he loved it so much.  We were told he is always the first one to the table and the last to leave.

This got me thinking about more artsy-type things we can do this winter when the weather is too cold to be outside.  But I need some help, readers.  I was never into art projects and am having trouble thinking of things to do. One idea I have is getting some paints and blank canvases and just letting him go to town. But besides that, I’m kind of stumped.  If you have kids, what kind of stuff do/did you do with them that they enjoyed?

I’m getting reacquainted with life–oh, ya! That’s what my shampoo smells like! The scent of fresh cookies baking.  Realizing I probably should’ve changed out the dish cloth in the kitchen a couple days ago because it had gone sour.  Eating my favorite pasta sauce.  Grant’s smell of Dove soap, Eternity cologne, and deodorant all mixed together.  I’m even loving the smell of poopy diapers.  That’s how grateful I am to feel like a normal human being again.  I’m enjoying the smell of poo.

I had an appointment with my surgeon this week, where he took out the packing.  It was so strange–I could breathe out of my nose since the surgery, even though I had all this stuff up there!  My doctor put some liquid numbing agent up my nose and stuck these long, skinny pliers in and pulled out about an inch and a half, L-shaped foam-like packing.  I didn’t feel any pain.  Then, he told me he would numb me up a little more to get the gauze that was up in between my eyebrows.  UH?  WHAT?!  I asked him, “I thought that was supposed to dissolve.”  He said most of it probably was, but he wanted to get out what hadn’t so I wouldn’t develop any scar tissue in that area.  Crap.  Again, this was a strange feeling.  It didn’t really hurt, which was kind of surreal since I knew how far he was poking around up in my nose. I mean BETWEEN MY EYEBROWS!???!!!  I just felt a lot of pressure and after a minute or so, out came two little pieces of gauze.  And it was over.

So needless to say, I’m thoroughly enjoying life right now.  Granted, I’m eating like a crazy person.  I think I’m still in the mindset that I could lose my smell and taste at any moment, and to savor as much as I can to try to remember what everything tastes like.  I’m constantly sniffing Donovan, something I’m sure he’s sick of already.  My speaking voice is back to normal.  No more stuffiness.  My singing voice is clearer–a huge relief.  And yes, I’m already thinking ahead to the next time I get pregnant (whenever that will be) and dreading of going through developing nasal polyps all over again.  But my surgeon is fairly confident that with this new steroid nasal rinse I’ll be using twice a day (unfortunately for-who-knows-how-long…forever?) will help keep them at bay.  And if it doesn’t, I would have the surgery again in a heartbeat.

Yup. Totally worth it.  Poo smells and all.

It started Friday, going through the morning having to not eat anything.  I was struggling because my surgery wasn’t until 12:30 pm.  I was nervous.  Grant was working, so I checked in and got settled.

Nothing like a pair of XL socks to make a woman feel sexy while in a tie-in-the-back gown.  And even though I went into surgery 2 1/2 hours later than scheduled, I woke up with no bandages on my face and not feeling terribly awful.  Until I sat up.  My head hurt, my nose started bleeding, and I wanted to go home and lay in bed.  Grant and Donovan came to get me and so began my new routine of bandages, sprays, and meds.

My doctor spoke to me before they wheeled me into the O.R. He looked at my CT scan they did a couple weeks ago to see exactly where the polyps were.  Apparently, they were in my entire sinus cavity–up my nose, under my eyes, and even up towards my eyebrows.  Yikes!

Saturday morning, I woke up.

No bruising, not much bleeding and overall, feeling somewhat ok.  And so far, I’m thinking that if this happens the next time I get pregnant, I will go through the surgery again.  My post-op appointment is Wednesday.  I can’t wait. The gauze comes out and I’ll be able to blow my nose–something I’ve been dying to do since Friday afternoon!  In the meantime, I’m enjoying a gift from my mom:

And I’m enjoying my smell and taste slowly coming back.  Yup, so far definitely worth the surgery.

Day #1

We loaded up the car, had The Help on cd for the ride–can’t wait to see the movie–and got to somewhere outside of Albany before stopping for lunch.  We found a McDonald’s that had an indoor play area for: Donovan to get his pent up energy out, to realize that I didn’t pack the Pack and Play (the bed our child was to sleep in!!!) and a place for me to puke.  Car sickness.  One of the many things I’ve never really had until getting pregnant (man, having a baby REALLY changes everything).  The rest of the trip, I had Dramamine in hand, especially since we were staying at a cute B&B in Staten Island and were to take the ferry over to NYC every day. I wanted to be prepared.

We pulled up to this B&B and when the owner answered the door she said, “oh, I don’t allow children.”  WHAT?!?!?!  ”When I booked through Expedia,” I said “they told me you waved the $40 per day per child fee.”  She said, “I never talked to Expedia; they never called me or emailed me…. but you’re already here so come on in.”  Phew.  Crisis averted.  She went on to tell us how un-baby proofed the place was and how a previous guest’s child pulled an antique lamp down on their head, and that she was NOT liable for any injuries or damages Donovan may cause.  ”Don’t worry, he’ll be with us the entire time,” we kept saying.  Fast forward to the end of the trip–she was playing with Donovan at breakfast.  He won her over quick.  Oh! And she had an extra Pack and Play that a previous European guest left because they didn’t want to keep hauling back and forth whenever they came to visit!  Next up, going to the City… lots of pictures…

Day #2

Taking the ferry over to Manhattan

The second we step off the ferry, Donovan says “Wooooaaaaahhh!  Woooooaaaaahhhh!”  It was hilarious.  We think he was amazed at all the people, the bright lights and the fact that there was so much to see!

It was a beautiful, hot summer day. First stop, Central Park.

They have a big playground on the south end and Donovan immediately made himself at home.

Did I mention it was hot?

They have a 100 year old carousel and since Donovan loved riding the one in Salem when we were there, this was a must.

Next, we were getting hungry and wanted to find some pizza (gotta have pizza when you go to NYC right?)  Donovan must have been starving because he ate almost a whole piece by himself!

Serious business.

The pizza joint we went to was right off 5th Avenue, so we made a stop in FAO Schwartz.  Not only was Donovan impressed (Wooooaaaaahhhh!) but so were we!  I’m still a kid at heart, I have to say. They have the worlds biggest gummie bear, a huge candy station–which only made me think of you, Amber, my candy-aholic friend–and a Build-a-Muppet station.  Cool!  So many fun toys, for the very young and old.  It’s at this store that they filmed that famous scene in the movie Big where Tom Hanks dances on the giant piano.  Donovan LOVED that. He was in heaven hopping around with the other kids, making noise, and even decided to hold the hand of a girl.

After this Donovan finally succumbed to his sleepiness and conked out in the stroller.  Grant and I took this opportunity to do some window shopping on 5th Avenue: Tiffany’s, Nike… more was in our plans, but little man woke up.

So we went to Times Square.

So much to see!  Then we ventured over to Ground Zero, which was pretty moving.

“Dedicated to those who fell and to those who carry on.” “We will never forget.”

Coming up on the 10th anniversary and being in this spot, you can’t help but go back to that day, remembering where you were, how you felt, and thinking about how the many ways it has changed our lives since that day.  Incredible.

Next we found a place to eat dinner and got caught in the worst wind I’ve ever experienced in my life on the walk back to the ferry.  Holy crap.  We were only a block from the terminal, but we had to take “cover” between two buses that could block the wind for us.  Grant was holding Donovan and I had all our stuff in the stroller.  I ended up putting my sunglasses on, just so dirt and garbage (which was flying through the air) didn’t get in my eyes and I could see.  I felt like we were in the Wizard of Oz.  It was SO WINDY!!! Boxes were flying by, plastic bags, it was nuts.  Finally there was a break in the wind and we made a mad dash to the ferry–along with hundreds of other people.  Just as we stepped on, the torrential downpour started. We got back to the B&B utterly exhausted, but planning what was in store for the next day.

Day #3

Taking the ferry to Manhattan, to catch the subway to Coney Island and Brooklyn.

Another hot, sunny day!

Coney Island = hot dogs = Nathan’s Hot Dogs.  Chili cheese dog, french fries, and Orange-ade (a mix between orange juice and lemonade).  This is where they have the annual hot dog eating contest on the 4th of July.

We hung out at the beach.  It was so hot!

Funny, the sunbathers didn’t move, even when you got really close to them.  They must be used to crowds.  If it was me and there was a 16 month old kid running around close by, I’d be making sure he didn’t hit me with his ball or run onto my blanket or something…. but maybe that’s just me.

We visited Prospect Park in Brooklyn, which has a small zoo in it’s Children’s Corner.  So many kid friendly places to go to in NY!

We were starting to wear down, so we thought we’d try eating dinner at a place my friend, Sarah, reccommended: Basta Pasta.  A Japanese/Italian fusion restaurant.  It was Saturday evening and I thought they’d be booked for sure, but I called at 5 pm for a 6:15 reservation and we got a table! Woop woop!  Grant said the Cesar dressing was one of the top 3 he’s ever had in his life. Hint: with Grant, that is the test of a good restaurant.  Good Cesar dressing.  After dinner, we tried finding a place for cheesecake for dessert, but our GPS was not showing us the right directions, so we said forget it, and took the ferry home.  Which was 45 min late.  Then we docked and thought the parking garage where we kept our car that day was closed, so we took the city bus back to the B&B.  Arrived at midnight.

Day #4

Taking a taxi to the parking garage to pick up our car, only to find the garage WAS open by the time we docked.  Ugh!  They really should update their hours on their web site!  We packed and took our time driving home, listening to The Help and enjoying every minute of it.  Donovan is such a good traveler, he slept a lot on the way home, but even when he was antsy and wanting to get out of his car seat,  he was very patient when we would tell him we would be home soon (which was still an hour away), only having one breakdown which required me to sit with him in the backseat to keep him occupied.  Poor guy.  But he made it and so did we!  What an exhaustingly, wonderful, long weekend!!!

A few days later, we felt the earthquake that was centered in Virginia.  I was sitting in my office and thought I was swaying.  And I was, but it was because the earth was moving.  I looked at the water on my desk and it was moving side to side.  It was so strange.

Then the next week, we were preparing to get hit hard by hurricane Irene.  We got some water, bought some groceries, had the candles ready (since every store was out of batteries for our flashlights), did laundry, and bought Donovan some shoes.  Ok, that last one wasn’t really a “hurricane prep”, but the kid has outgrown his sneakers, so we bought him a new pair, and his first pair of boots.

Grant was very proud.  Now they can match!

Donovan also wanted to ride the little carousel at the mall.  Check him out, driving already!

We got hit with the storm, but not nearly as bad as the people further south of us in Vermont. We didn’t even lose power, thank God, but others got slammed.

The last few weeks have been quite a ride!  You should get over to NYC if you’ve never been. It’s pretty amazing. Grant and I want to go back without the little one so we can do more adult things–go to a broadway show, maybe a museum, Ellis Island, experience the nightlife.  Have you ever been to NYC? What was your favorite thing you did? What didn’t you get to do that you wish you could have?

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Thanks for checking out my “Week in the Life.”

Stay tuned…